Today is a beautiful day. The first one in a few months. It's not too cold, sunny, no wind. Just perfect. In fact, it must be a day to throw the frisbee. I'm really hoping somebody will come along with me or I will be forced to throw the frisbee with myself.

Things feel kinda weird for me. We are about to gear up for another semester on campus but honestly I'm not ready for it...and not very excited. I have a lot of doubts in my mind that keep overtaking me. I would like to tell you that I always believe God to do big things or even just to comfort me in my fear, but many times this year I have had to force myself to step out in faith. I have had to fully rely on the Lord for guidance since I really don't have much to offer to this team or to these Slovaks.

But despite my despair 99% of the time, God does give me glimpses of His goodness and promise. At the end of Luke, which I just finished reading, two men are on their way to Emmaus after Jesus is killed. When Jesus comes along side them they are two busy talking among themselves to see that their Savior is walking with them. Later, after Jesus reveals Himself to them, they say, "Weren't our hearts burning when He spoke the Scriptures to us?"

Now when I first read this I didn't think much about it. But then that very same day, Larry Thompson spoke about this passage at our last night of the AOA conference. He didn't really add anything profound, but it was just the fact that I had read it earlier that the Lord spoke to me and said, "HEY! I'm real. And I'm here. Trust me."

So that's what I'm trying to do...trust God. It's not easy, by any means. But I don't really have another choice in this situation, thankfully.


Mat'ko