Wow, what a day! Where do I start?
Today was our first day preparing for the upcoming semester. We had some good time off to relax and rest up from all the craziness over the break. We all spent some time with the Lord this afternoon asking Him for vision.
Honestly, I wasn't really feeling it, but since it's my job (which, by the way, I LOVE my job) I decided to go for it. So I took off....
...and found myself out in the middle of the woods sitting on a pile of logs on the side of a dirt road. For a long time I was wondering what the Lord wanted to tell me because I wasn't hearing much from Him. Although, I was pretty convicted about sharing my faith more boldly on campus this semester. So many times I go on campus reluctant and powerless...not filled with the Spirit. I can think back to many times this year when God has shown Himself faithful and then I turn around and forget His goodness.
Na pri klad (for example): this weekend me and Aaron went hiking with a student named Lukas. It was an amazing trip filled with conversation about what it really means to have salvation, what repentace is, and I even got to explain a few things in Slovak, which is a pure miracle if you know me. By the way, PLEASE pray for Lukas. I think he is really close to accepting Christ!
Back to today, I was just sitting there doubting what He could do this semester and how He is ever going to show up in these students' lives. So when we meet back we talked about what we heard from the Lord and I was feeling pretty much at a loss for words....just trying to engage the team in conversation and find something constructive to work with (which often times happens to me). Then Kelly shared a song with us. It's called "God of this city" by Chris Tomlin. Can I just say it explains EXACTLY where we are at. Some of us have been looking to the past and wondering if God is still working here.
The song says:
You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are
You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are
There is no one like our God...
There is no one like our God...
For greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city
YES! This is what we are believing God for. He CAN be the God of not just this city, but this nation of Slovakia. He can be hope to the hopeless and peace to the restless. We want the lives of students to be radically changed by the person of Jesus Christ.
Oh, wait. There's more and it gets better. Later we all went to eat at Pizza Hut. Then Dara suggested that we all get some ice cream, so we went to Aida...the big ice cream place here. While we are standing around two gypsy kids walk up to me asking for change and so I offer to buy them ice cream after Biba tells me, "Don't just stand there, give them something." I buy them ice cream and then realize I can give them a knowing God personally booklet. So I ask my team if someone has one and Carlyn pulls one out of her backpack. I hand it to them and they look it over one good time. Then Mirka steps in and starts talking to them about this booklet, which is in Slovak and describes how someone can begin a relationship with Christ. Mirka makes it all the way through the booklet with the boys and then she steps aside with one of them...
..."wait, is she doing what I think she is doing?" I'm thinking. I look over at Biba and she nods her head and says, "He just prayed the prayer." Then I proceed to yell, "WHAT?!" in the middle of Aida.
Mirka comes over and tells us, "We have a new brother in Christ." The sad part about all this is that we have no way of following up with him so all we can do is pray that what he just did will truly make sense to him and that God will bring about change in his life. But SERIOUSLY! How crazy is that?! Just like God to do that.
While we are walking back home we realize that we all played a role in sharing the gospel with that one boy, Eric. At this very moment I am still shocked at how God used us AS A TEAM to bring about His glory. That is something we want to work toward more this semester, really working as one unit to take this movement forward. Would you PRAY that we would seek that out?
praying for this city,
Matt
Monday, February 11
Sunday, February 3
Today is a beautiful day. The first one in a few months. It's not too cold, sunny, no wind. Just perfect. In fact, it must be a day to throw the frisbee. I'm really hoping somebody will come along with me or I will be forced to throw the frisbee with myself.
Things feel kinda weird for me. We are about to gear up for another semester on campus but honestly I'm not ready for it...and not very excited. I have a lot of doubts in my mind that keep overtaking me. I would like to tell you that I always believe God to do big things or even just to comfort me in my fear, but many times this year I have had to force myself to step out in faith. I have had to fully rely on the Lord for guidance since I really don't have much to offer to this team or to these Slovaks.
But despite my despair 99% of the time, God does give me glimpses of His goodness and promise. At the end of Luke, which I just finished reading, two men are on their way to Emmaus after Jesus is killed. When Jesus comes along side them they are two busy talking among themselves to see that their Savior is walking with them. Later, after Jesus reveals Himself to them, they say, "Weren't our hearts burning when He spoke the Scriptures to us?"
Now when I first read this I didn't think much about it. But then that very same day, Larry Thompson spoke about this passage at our last night of the AOA conference. He didn't really add anything profound, but it was just the fact that I had read it earlier that the Lord spoke to me and said, "HEY! I'm real. And I'm here. Trust me."
So that's what I'm trying to do...trust God. It's not easy, by any means. But I don't really have another choice in this situation, thankfully.
Mat'ko
Things feel kinda weird for me. We are about to gear up for another semester on campus but honestly I'm not ready for it...and not very excited. I have a lot of doubts in my mind that keep overtaking me. I would like to tell you that I always believe God to do big things or even just to comfort me in my fear, but many times this year I have had to force myself to step out in faith. I have had to fully rely on the Lord for guidance since I really don't have much to offer to this team or to these Slovaks.
But despite my despair 99% of the time, God does give me glimpses of His goodness and promise. At the end of Luke, which I just finished reading, two men are on their way to Emmaus after Jesus is killed. When Jesus comes along side them they are two busy talking among themselves to see that their Savior is walking with them. Later, after Jesus reveals Himself to them, they say, "Weren't our hearts burning when He spoke the Scriptures to us?"
Now when I first read this I didn't think much about it. But then that very same day, Larry Thompson spoke about this passage at our last night of the AOA conference. He didn't really add anything profound, but it was just the fact that I had read it earlier that the Lord spoke to me and said, "HEY! I'm real. And I'm here. Trust me."
So that's what I'm trying to do...trust God. It's not easy, by any means. But I don't really have another choice in this situation, thankfully.
Mat'ko
Sunday, January 27
what is my life right now?
A few days ago I returned from about 12 days of attending conferences in Hungary. First all five of us Americans were in Vajta, Hungary (find that on a map if you can). We saw other STINTers from about seven or eight other locations in our area of affairs, which is Eastern Europe and Russia (also Israel).
We stayed at a really nice place called Calvary Chapel and all of our meetings were in this old restored mansion in the middle of Hungarian countryside. Can I just say it was amazing? One day as about 12 of us American boys were outside playing football, my friend Jonathan said, "It feels like we are all in a really big, rich family and we are just playing some Thanksgiving day football." It was so much fun, and so needed.
I was able to meet with the Lord and gain some clear guidance about where He wants me next year. For a while I have been juggling whether I should stay for another year in Slovakia or return to the states in order to join staff with Campus Crusade. God really answered some of my questions, and more importantly, gave me peace admist my doubts about why He wants me back home next year. So I did decide that I will be joining full-time staff with Crusade next year, which basically means I will start raising support when I get back from Slovakia.
So on to the next conference, our all staff Area of Affairs conference. Once again, I had more time to hang out with new freinds and be encouraged from the Word by speakers and friends. We heard many stories about what God is doing in different countries in this area. It was a huge breath of fresh air to hear that God is moving in visible ways among this culture-type. For example, this past semester 34 Russian students and 100 Ukrainian students accepted Christ. Many times its hard to trust God for what He is doing here in Slovakia given that we have not seen much fruit recently. But I trust that His perfect plan is being played out through me.
It's been kinda hard adjusting back to life in "the real world." I returned to Kosice and realized that I had lost a little bit of my language abilities, and that my attitude toward people around me was one more of judgement than mercy. I realize how easy it is for us, as Christians, to get into our bubble of friends and never want to engage with non-believers; I wouldn't do it if it wasn't my job, simply because it's really hard. It forces me to analyze what I say I believe and actually put it into practice. One thing that the Lord has been teaching me this year is that many times what I say I believe doesn't often line up with what my actions profess. That is sin on my part, and God's mercy on His part.
truth and grace to you,
Matt
We stayed at a really nice place called Calvary Chapel and all of our meetings were in this old restored mansion in the middle of Hungarian countryside. Can I just say it was amazing? One day as about 12 of us American boys were outside playing football, my friend Jonathan said, "It feels like we are all in a really big, rich family and we are just playing some Thanksgiving day football." It was so much fun, and so needed.
I was able to meet with the Lord and gain some clear guidance about where He wants me next year. For a while I have been juggling whether I should stay for another year in Slovakia or return to the states in order to join staff with Campus Crusade. God really answered some of my questions, and more importantly, gave me peace admist my doubts about why He wants me back home next year. So I did decide that I will be joining full-time staff with Crusade next year, which basically means I will start raising support when I get back from Slovakia.
So on to the next conference, our all staff Area of Affairs conference. Once again, I had more time to hang out with new freinds and be encouraged from the Word by speakers and friends. We heard many stories about what God is doing in different countries in this area. It was a huge breath of fresh air to hear that God is moving in visible ways among this culture-type. For example, this past semester 34 Russian students and 100 Ukrainian students accepted Christ. Many times its hard to trust God for what He is doing here in Slovakia given that we have not seen much fruit recently. But I trust that His perfect plan is being played out through me.
It's been kinda hard adjusting back to life in "the real world." I returned to Kosice and realized that I had lost a little bit of my language abilities, and that my attitude toward people around me was one more of judgement than mercy. I realize how easy it is for us, as Christians, to get into our bubble of friends and never want to engage with non-believers; I wouldn't do it if it wasn't my job, simply because it's really hard. It forces me to analyze what I say I believe and actually put it into practice. One thing that the Lord has been teaching me this year is that many times what I say I believe doesn't often line up with what my actions profess. That is sin on my part, and God's mercy on His part.
truth and grace to you,
Matt
Tuesday, January 8
slúžit' (to serve)
I was reading in Luke chapter 17 this morning and came across this passage: "He does not thank the slave because he did the things which were commanded, does he? So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, 'We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done." This really struck me because in the past few months I think I have become expectant of God. I often times find myself expecting Him to bless me because of what I am doing here. I think I somehow deserve His blessing and good hand upon me. But then God reminds me that I am merely doing what I have been commanded to do as a bondservant of Christ. And the reality is that I should count it a blessing just to be a slave for Christ. So I want to encourage you to rethink the way you view your "work" for the Lord. Are you doing it with a wrongly expectant heart? Because if you are, God is not hesitant to alter your view. Let me encourage you to return to the Lord and thank Him for the privilege it is to serve Him, and to maintain a pure heart admist it all.
Wednesday, December 26
some thoughts during the holiday season
This was actually a journal entry I wrote on the 24th of this month, Christmas Eve:
"Well, it's actually going to happen, Christmas in Slovakia. I can't believe this is about to happen. I don't have many other thoughts about it. Rachel did make one good point that being away from home can be good b/c it can force us to really focus on Christ this year and not necessarily our families or friends; just the birth of our Savior Christ.
I was just reading in Luke about the parable of the sower. I started to think about how the sower was obedient to what God wanted him to do, sow the word of God into people's hearts and lives. Most of the times the sower put seed out it got trampled or taken away or choked out. Only 25% of the time did the seed he threw come to bear fruit. But he wasn't worried about all that, he knew what his task was and kept the results truly up to God. We so often talk about how we should leave the results up to God, but many times that is really hard to do.
But a lot of things in life are hard; life is hard. I must press on with faith and ask the Spirit to change me. It is said that successful sharing is sharing Christ by the Holy Spirit and leaving the results up to God. If I look at this definition and measure myself to it I have failed horribly. I often share out of my own strength and then get upset when I dont' see results. How selfish am I really? How selfish do I have to be in order to expect God to bless what I do out of my own power? I've got to be a total idiot.
If God's truth does endure to all generations then I can rejoice that He is working still among all the sin of this generation. It often seems hard to find, though."
I can honestly say this has been my semester; most of the time failing at sharing the gospel with the power of the Spirit. But I'm learning and God is showing me the true meaning and purpose behind sharing my faith.
cheers,
Matt
ps - Christmas in Slovakia was great!
"Well, it's actually going to happen, Christmas in Slovakia. I can't believe this is about to happen. I don't have many other thoughts about it. Rachel did make one good point that being away from home can be good b/c it can force us to really focus on Christ this year and not necessarily our families or friends; just the birth of our Savior Christ.
I was just reading in Luke about the parable of the sower. I started to think about how the sower was obedient to what God wanted him to do, sow the word of God into people's hearts and lives. Most of the times the sower put seed out it got trampled or taken away or choked out. Only 25% of the time did the seed he threw come to bear fruit. But he wasn't worried about all that, he knew what his task was and kept the results truly up to God. We so often talk about how we should leave the results up to God, but many times that is really hard to do.
But a lot of things in life are hard; life is hard. I must press on with faith and ask the Spirit to change me. It is said that successful sharing is sharing Christ by the Holy Spirit and leaving the results up to God. If I look at this definition and measure myself to it I have failed horribly. I often share out of my own strength and then get upset when I dont' see results. How selfish am I really? How selfish do I have to be in order to expect God to bless what I do out of my own power? I've got to be a total idiot.
If God's truth does endure to all generations then I can rejoice that He is working still among all the sin of this generation. It often seems hard to find, though."
I can honestly say this has been my semester; most of the time failing at sharing the gospel with the power of the Spirit. But I'm learning and God is showing me the true meaning and purpose behind sharing my faith.
cheers,
Matt
ps - Christmas in Slovakia was great!
Thursday, November 29
coming to a close
The semester is quickly coming to a close. It's sad yet exciting at the same time. On one hand, I have made it a little over three months. That is surely by the grace of God. On the other, I often feel like we have not accomplished much, and even regret not being able to adjust more quickly. It's really hard to not be critical of myself, but I'm learning how to live in grace. A lot has happened this semester and I have learned many things. Which include, but are not limited to, the following:
- I am WAY too prideful of who I think I am when in reality I'm pretty ignorant
- God is the only one who can initiate and sustain any type of spiritual change in people's lives
- doing ministry overseas, where you know just about nothing, really points out the sin in your life
- there are A LOT of people who have no clue what it means to have faith in Christ...and I mean this pretty much anwhere you go in the world
- I appreciate my family so much more
- ministry is really hard but God has not called me to an easy life; He never asks His followers to do easy things in life. He wants full obedience and trust.
Despite the semester coming to a close, I am looking forward to the four conferences, wedding of Jeremy and Dara, and trip to Rome during the break. Gonna be loads of fun.
Until next time, kids.
- I am WAY too prideful of who I think I am when in reality I'm pretty ignorant
- God is the only one who can initiate and sustain any type of spiritual change in people's lives
- doing ministry overseas, where you know just about nothing, really points out the sin in your life
- there are A LOT of people who have no clue what it means to have faith in Christ...and I mean this pretty much anwhere you go in the world
- I appreciate my family so much more
- ministry is really hard but God has not called me to an easy life; He never asks His followers to do easy things in life. He wants full obedience and trust.
Despite the semester coming to a close, I am looking forward to the four conferences, wedding of Jeremy and Dara, and trip to Rome during the break. Gonna be loads of fun.
Until next time, kids.
Sunday, November 4
starting over
I'm sitting in the hospital hallway listening to some Tifah on my laptop...and thinking about what is going to happen next. So what is God going to do with everything now? Where is He going to lead me...or even better, how is He going to rework everything that I know?
The past few days here have been much better than the first. I actually started to lose some of the bitterness of being here and being in this situation. I started to release some of the resentment and guilt of my inadequacies. It has taken me the whole time here to finally realize why the Lord brought me to this point:
He is starting things over with me.
Or at least that's what I'm hearing from Him. Now, I have to admit I have no clue what that means. Will I finally be disciplined to read the Word every day? Or pray constantly? Maybe not. Maybe it's something deeper. He's bringing me to the point of recognizing exactly why I'm in Slovakia this year...no, why I even follow Him to begin with.
Why do I follow Jesus, anyways? It sure isn't safe. I don't know the plans of my life. My sinful self gets mad when things go bad because I think God is not good. My life is still hard; why is that? I didn't sign up for this. But I think I'm starting to see a light to all my answers.
That same light that I'm looking toward is the same one that gave me life in the first place, and is the same one that is sending me out even now. Now I don't want to get too deep or spiritual on you. In simple terms, I'm learning how to deal with the mess. That's all it really is: finding life in the middle of the mess. Yeah, sure, it's easy to live life when things are good. But life is still messy in the middle of all that. We still deal with our sinful self and are tempted to withold glory from the Lord.
So back to the whole starting over thing. Coming into this year my mind was totally set on what my relationship with Jesus should look like in order for me to be happy this year...and be effective in ministry. But I think that stems from a wrong belief that I have to be something in order for God to use me.
Before you go off thinking that I'm going to talk about how His power is made perfect in weakness, and then lose you, I want to say something. There's something about all this that goes so much deeper. It's my life; it's who I am. It hits you harder when it's your life. Now, don't get me wrong. All the forementioned is good and true. And yes, this is a simple thought, but one that I honestly haven't wrestled with much. So I'm having to learn how to wrestle with it. And in this time, literally.
So maybe all I'm saying is that I'm finally at the point where I can be comfortable with this. It's sad that God had to use extreme measures to get me here, but that's how He deals with things. I don't understand it, but that's kinda beautiful.
Honestly, all this is still jumbled up in my head and not making much sense. But I have to start somewhere with this whole process. It will truly be a miracle if I grasp onto anything that God is teaching me. Please pray that it does.
caught in the middle,
Matt
The past few days here have been much better than the first. I actually started to lose some of the bitterness of being here and being in this situation. I started to release some of the resentment and guilt of my inadequacies. It has taken me the whole time here to finally realize why the Lord brought me to this point:
He is starting things over with me.
Or at least that's what I'm hearing from Him. Now, I have to admit I have no clue what that means. Will I finally be disciplined to read the Word every day? Or pray constantly? Maybe not. Maybe it's something deeper. He's bringing me to the point of recognizing exactly why I'm in Slovakia this year...no, why I even follow Him to begin with.
Why do I follow Jesus, anyways? It sure isn't safe. I don't know the plans of my life. My sinful self gets mad when things go bad because I think God is not good. My life is still hard; why is that? I didn't sign up for this. But I think I'm starting to see a light to all my answers.
That same light that I'm looking toward is the same one that gave me life in the first place, and is the same one that is sending me out even now. Now I don't want to get too deep or spiritual on you. In simple terms, I'm learning how to deal with the mess. That's all it really is: finding life in the middle of the mess. Yeah, sure, it's easy to live life when things are good. But life is still messy in the middle of all that. We still deal with our sinful self and are tempted to withold glory from the Lord.
So back to the whole starting over thing. Coming into this year my mind was totally set on what my relationship with Jesus should look like in order for me to be happy this year...and be effective in ministry. But I think that stems from a wrong belief that I have to be something in order for God to use me.
Before you go off thinking that I'm going to talk about how His power is made perfect in weakness, and then lose you, I want to say something. There's something about all this that goes so much deeper. It's my life; it's who I am. It hits you harder when it's your life. Now, don't get me wrong. All the forementioned is good and true. And yes, this is a simple thought, but one that I honestly haven't wrestled with much. So I'm having to learn how to wrestle with it. And in this time, literally.
So maybe all I'm saying is that I'm finally at the point where I can be comfortable with this. It's sad that God had to use extreme measures to get me here, but that's how He deals with things. I don't understand it, but that's kinda beautiful.
Honestly, all this is still jumbled up in my head and not making much sense. But I have to start somewhere with this whole process. It will truly be a miracle if I grasp onto anything that God is teaching me. Please pray that it does.
caught in the middle,
Matt
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